Thursday, July 30, 2009

Just Need to Vent

Okay so here it goes. Before my parents got divorced my dad and I had a great relationship. Right before the wedding (around the time they divorced) our relationship starting going downhill. I thought that maybe it was with all the stress with the wedding so I didn't think too much of it. Well I moved away to go live with my husband in TN but come August of last year Ben and I decided that it would be the smarter decision if I moved back home to finish my last semester of college. So the middle of August rolls around and I move back. That was the point that my relationship with my dad started going downhill fast. I got the feeling, and still get the feeling that he is upset that I would rather be with my husband than be living in his house. Also, ever since my parents divorced I feel like I have been the one in the middle. I feel like I am being blamed for their marriage not working, for my dad having to sell the house, and I feel like my dad doesn't want me talking to Cheryl anymore. Well Cheryl has been my mom since I was six so there is no way in hell that I am ever going to quite talking to her. I have tried telling my dad that I am sorry that he has to sell the house. If I could of done something to stop it I would have but I couldn't. He keeps telling me that I don't understand what he is going through. Well he is right, I don't understand and I won't understand because I am not the one that got divorced and I am not the one that had to sell my dream home. Plus, I am his kid, not the parent so the house, and all the bills that went along with it were not supposed to be my problem. IDK... I just want the relationship I used to have with my dad back. I don't have that good of a relationship with my real mom and not having one with my dad hurts even worse. I want all of mine and Ben's parents to be in our kids life when we do deicide to have children. IDK... I just hope that my dad see's the light at the end of the tunnel and see's that the more and more he drinks, and acts the way that he has been lately he is pushing me away. Everytime I talk to him we argue and I don't like it. He gets all mad and hangs up and then won't call back and won't answer my calls when I try calling back. I just pray that God knows what he is doing and that soon I can start getting my relationship back with my dad.

Monday, July 13, 2009


This weekend was a blast. I ended up going to Chicago... by myself!!! I never thought in a million years I would go to a city like that by myself but I had so much fun! I was supposed to go with a friend but something came up last minute so she couldn't go. So anyways, here is how my weekend went:

Saturday morning I got up early and took Rascal to the Vet Clinic so they could board him all weekend for me at 8am. Then I started my journey. Just me, the radio and Veronica. (Veronica is the GPS unit my friend from work let me borrow, and thank goodness she did because otherwise I would have gotten lost!) First I went to the hotel to see what time check in was. I got up there about 11am and check in was until 3pm, therefore I headed to Schaumburg to go to the Woodfield mall. That mall was huge! Three floors! My whole point in going to the mall was to find some new outfits for mine and Ben's pictures next month and I succeeded! I found me a tube top coral color dress and a navy blue tube top shirt. I bought Ben two polo shirts, a white one with small gray horizontal strips and a navy blue one with small white horizontal strips. I can't wait to wear them for pictures! yay! I left the mall about 3 and headed back to the hotel. After paying the tolls to get back I ended up back at the hotel around 4pm. I went up to my room with the intention of leaving and going down the street to see what was there, well, I fell asleep until about 6:30 and after that didn't really fell like getting up. The movies "The Break Up", and "Holiday" were on and I couldn't turn them off. So about 9pm I ordered some pizza and read my book, then finally went to bed around 11:30pm.

Sunday I got up about 10:30, got ready and headed to Millennium Park in downtown Chicago. Veronica did really well until we got into the city. Then she was telling me I was off route and needed to get on the nearest street when I was already on Monroe! lol So finally after driving around and avoiding the crazy taxi drivers I found the Millennium Park parking garage and pulled in. the drive up the parking garage reminded me of the movie "Bad Boys 2" (I think it is that one) where they are going up the parking garage and it's a big spiral drive all the way up! Felt kinda cool. I was pretending I was in the movies! lol

Anyways, I finally made it to the park! Wow, was a beautiful place. I love parks but this one is my second favorite, coming in behind Central Park in NYC. I loved all the cool 'things' they had. I'm not sure what you really call the things but they were really neat to see. There was also this water play area for kids. It's really hard to describe so just take my word for it when I say it was something that I have never seen before.

After the park I went back to my car to drive to Navy Pier. After turning the wrong way, I finally turned around and made it to the pier. I loved it there! I love the water and anything that has to do with water. There were a lot of different boats there you could ride, (Active military servicemen, not their families, gets to ride for free). I made my way to the end of the pier and watched these two people jet ski for about a half an hour. I wanted to just hop on with them! lol At 4pm I went on a site seeing boat cruise around the pier. That was really neat. While we were on the boat two CH-47's (what Ben flies in) flew overhead. I was hoping Ben would parachute down from one but of course, wishful thinking. lol Most of my time on the pier I just walked around and enjoyed the beautiful weather and the view.

Around 5ish I made my way over to the trolley to take to the red line subway. I have ridden a subway in NYC before with my aunt, but never by myself so that was an experience. I was a little nervous but I made it out alright! I rode the subway to Jackson street and then walked four blocks to Sears Tower.
While I was in line for tickets for the tower I started talking to these people that were behind me. The one I talked to the most was Wendy. She was from South Dakota. She used to go to school in Chicago and her and some of her friends from work came to the city to site see. Well by the time we got to the top she offered to pay for my fast pass ticket, which was THIRTY DOLLARS!!! I told her that was very nice of her but I would pay for mine. She wouldn't let me. I just stood there in shock. I thanked her the whole time. It is truly amazing that there are still people out in the world that are like that. I mean, she didn't even know me. I know that I will probably never run into her again but "Wendy, thank you so much. May God bless you and congrats on the baby boy on the way." I'm still pretty much speechless that all I can say is Thank you. The view from the top was beautiful. I personally liked the Empire State Building better because you were actually outside looking around. The top of the Sears Tower was all closed in so you couldn't really get the whole experience. It was very neat though. The new "Sky box" was pretty neat. It's a plexi glass box that you can stand in and while looking down you can see the street beneath you. After looking around and taking some pictures, we all headed back down to the ground. I thanked Wendy one last time and wished her good luck with the baby. I then bought my picture that they took of me before I went up and headed back to the red line subway back to Grand street to go back to my car near Navy Pier.

After getting lost in the city, thanks to Veronica, I finally made my way back onto the highway and back to my hotel. I made it back in time for Army Wives too! I wanted to stay and see the sunset from the tower and see the fireworks from the pier but since I was by myself I decided that I didn't want to try to find my way back in the dark and in all the traffic.

This morning I woke up about 9:30, went downstairs for some breakfast, and then headed on my way back to Springfield to pick up Rascal. I never thought that I would miss that puppy so much but I did.

Now, me and Rascal are enjoying the rest of our afternoon before I have to go back to work tomorrow.

I hope everyone had a great weekend. Enjoy the rest of your week! :)

Sunday, July 5, 2009

She's back!!

So this weekend was the 4th of July. I had an amazing time!! It's nice to be 21 and able to get into the beer garden uptown and listen to the good bands they have. The part that made it even better though is that Betsy was there. After the wedding I probably only talked to Betsy once or twice because Steven, her boyfriend at the time, would get jealous if she was with anyone but him. Well they finally broke up and now she is back!! Her and I have hung out more in the past month than we have in the past year. I love it!! And I love her new boyfriend Allen. He is awesome! He treats her so well and we can all see that she is much much happier now! We were all on our way to Steak n Shake Friday night and Derina rode with me and was like "I can tell that Betsy is more herself now and a lot happier" I told her "I know!!!" Bets, if you are reading this, I am so glad that you are back to your normal self and that our friendship has picked up where it left off! I have missed you in my life so much!!! Allan, if you are reading this, THANK YOU sooo much for treating Bets the way that you do and for bringing my friend out of hiding and back into the real world!!!! I will never be able to thank you enough!!!

I also have many other great friends; and like Katy, I am blessed to have not one, but many best friends.
Erica and I go way back. Back to middle school actually. We lost contact there for a while during high school but once I started working at Central Bank, and she worked there as well, our friendship picked back up and we have been close ever since. She is now married to a wonderful man and has two cute puppies! I couldn't be happier for her.

Katy and I used to work at Central together. Well not together but for the same company. I actually worked with her mom. Her and Erica were friends and that's how I met her. She is def the life of the party and likes to have them! Katy is def one of a kind and loves to travel. That girl has been on more 'vacations' in one year then I have been in my whole life! lol She is now with a great guy named Kenny! It is good to finally see her with someone that makes her happy! You deserve it Katy!

Laurenn and I just met not that long ago but our friendship grew fast. She is an amazing person to be around and she is a great listener. She has been there for me when I needed someone the most. She is someone you can call when all you want to do is cry, and by the end of the call she has you laughing. She also has an amazing little boy! Keitan is the cutest and I love him to death. He's going to be president someday!!!

Kelli and I have been friends for 4 years now. We have never been close, close but we know that if either one of us needs someone to talk to that the other one is there to listen, no matter what and I love that about our friendship!

Chrissy is more like family than anything. We have known each other for 6-7 years now. She has been there for me when things got rough. She has always given me great advice on how to handle the things that I was having trouble with. I love her as if she was my blood sister and hope that our relationship never ends. She has the most precious little girl who I have the privilege of calling my niece! I love Sophie as if she were blood as well and am very honored that Chrissy and Brad have let me be apart of her life. Thank you guys so much! You are the best!

I have saved the best for last...

Ben! He is my number one! He is not only my husband, or my best friend, he is my hero! Ever since he was joined the military I have stopped taking so many things for granted. I cherish every moment that him and I get to spend together and every second that I get to talk to him on the phone. Every time I am with him or talk to him, he makes me smile! I know that I can talk to him about anything. I am so glad that we found each other. We are def soul mates and I look forward to all the wonderful years we have ahead of us!

Now back to this weekend, (sorry, got a little side tracked). I had a lot of fun! Friday night I went uptown and saw Aaron Tippin. He wasn't the greatest, but hey, it was a free concert! Then after that Betsy and I went up to the Beer Garden and got free drinks from Derina all night long! We also ran into Regan and her boyfriend there so we all just sat around and drank. After Derina got off we walked down to Bones. Only stayed for about 30 min and then left to go to Steak n Shake.

Saturday I spent the afternoon with my grandparents who were in town. At 6 I went back uptown and met Betsy, her mom, Erica, and Matt. We walked around and then went back to the Beer Garden. My friend, Katy's mom, was working the stand that night so she was giving us free drinks as well! Man is it nice to have hook ups! She got off at eight so she came and gave us some tickets so we could go up and get more drinks later on! lol Rose, you're the best! The Str8 Arrow was the band that played that night and man were they good! Me, Erica, and Rita (my dad and step mom's friend) got out of the dance floor and did the slap leather line dance! It was a lot of fun! Regan and Matt, her bf, and Allen, Betsy's bf, met us there so we had a pretty good group going! About 9:30 they started the fireworks so we watched those and then ended up going home because it started raining as soon as they were over. We had a lot of fun though! The most fun I have had in awhile!

It's weird to think that the next time that I will be back in Jeff, Ben will be with me!!!!! I cannot wait!!! 29 more days!!! The day could not get here any faster!

Well that's all for now! I hope everyone had a great weekend!!!