Sunday, September 28, 2008

The things people think and make up

So.. all of this that I'm about to say cracks me up.
I used to be friends with this girl. We stopped being friends senior year in high school because she was jealous of my boyfriend who is know my husband. We started talking about 6 months ago. Just the average, "Hi how you doing? We should get together" type of thing. We never did get together though. Well in May she started dating my ex boyfriend, who I was still friends with. By the way, her and I were best friends when him and I were together. He ended up joining the Army and would call me and Ben and ask us questions about it if he needed too. When he left to go to basic training I did the courteous thing and told her that if she needed someone to talk to or needed any advice from someone that has gone though the same thing to give me a call. Well, we got to talking more, (on myspace) and she said that she missed our friendship and wanted to seriously get together and catch up when I moved back into town. I took her seriously and was willing to give our friendship another shot. In August when my ex graduated from BCT he ended up proposing to her. (Ben proposed to me that way :) lol) anyways.. I told her that if she wanted any help with the wedding or any advice that she was free to call if she wanted. I didn't really expect her to, I was just saying all of that to be nice. I had alot of people tell me that when I got engaged but I know that none of them really meant it. It's just the courteous thing to say. Apparently she thought that I was trying to take control of her and my ex's wedding and blah blah blah. I wasn't trying to do anything. I was still friends with my ex and had been for six years and I was close to his family, which still bothers her.
One thing led to another and now none of us talk which is fine with me but I just hate it when people tell lies about it all. I called my ex and told him that I wanted nothing to do with it anymore, told him EXACTLY what both her and I said and told him that I was ending it. All I was doing was being courteous and apparently that's a sin nowadays. We ended up talking about some other stuff, laughed and then I got off the phone. The next thing I know my ex cuts all ties with me, doesn't even talk to me over the Internet anymore because of her. Now she is going around telling people that I am unhappy in my marriage and I was requesting too much information and all this other crap. For one, I am the happiest I have ever been. I love Ben more than anything, and for your information me and (my ex) had been friends the whole time me and Ben have been together and it hasn't caused any trouble between us. He knows I'm not going to go and leave him, especially for (my ex). Also, it's fine if you want to tell him that he can't talk to me anymore and all that but I hope you realize that you can not choose his friends for him. If you think your marriage is going to work with you bossing him around and being immature and insecure you have another thing coming. I hate for this to sound so mean but I am sick and tired of you twisting everything I do and say around to make me look bad. I know the only reason you are doing it is to try to get his sister, who I am close with and have been for six years, against me. Here's a news flash, it's not going to happen. All you are doing is making yourself look even worse.
Another thing that had bothered her was that she heard that I said that I didn't think her and him should get married. Okay, for starters I didn't say that and IF I did why do you feel like you need my blessing to get married? YOU DON'T!!! But if you want it I will give it to you.
I guess I just don't understand why people that are insecure with their own relationship have to turn everything around and put the blame on someone else.

Sorry for all of that to be so intense.. I am just sick and tired of immature people. I wish that they would realize that I am not a bad person and all I was doing was being nice. But if they don't then it's their problem not mine. It just makes me laugh when I hear that she thinks that I am unhappy in my marriage. HAHAHAHA. You must be smoking crack if you think that. Ben is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Even though we are six hours away right now, I go to bed and wake up smiling just because I know that he is my husband. We have never been happier and it will always be like that. So please, get over yourself and start worrying about what color napkins you are going to have in your wedding!! :)

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

The Countdown Has Begun...

Ben had a pre deployment meeting on Thrusday 9.18.08. They talked to him about alot of different stuff. When he came home last weekend he brought me this big packet full of papers I have to read over and fill out. In these papers it talks about getting a will and a power of attorney. We knew we were going to do the power of attorney but we didnt expect to have to get a will. At first I was freaking out. I dont want to get a will and jinx the chance that my husband might not come back home to me. But the more and more I thought of it I realized that we need one anyways, whether he was going over or not, because if something were to happen to either one of us and we didnt have a will then the government would decide how to split up my life insurance and vise versa. Its really just alot to think of. I never thought this day would actually get here. And really its not even here yet. They have told him it could be anytime between Dec 1-10 and now they are saying December 16th. Part of me just wishes that he was already over so that way he could come home sooner. I cant believe that my best friend is going to be gone for a whole year. I am glad though, that I am going to have Stacey and Libby to keep my company
every night. Stacey's husband is going over with Ben so we decided it would help us out greatly if we lived together since we would both be going thru the same thing. I am very grateful to have her as a friend!
On a more happier note, as I had mentioned, Ben came home last weekend! He was an usher in his cousins wedding so he had to come home for that. We had been having problems with his cousin and her parents for quite some time now but I think her wedding put an end to it all. Me and Ben just didnt see things their way just like they didnt see things our way. I am really grateful that Kirk came up to Ben and talked to him and then came to me and talked to me. I hated the awkardness between all of us and so did Ben. We know that it wont ever be the same anymore between all of us but atleast we arnt arguing anymore. There are still some things that I will stand up for and put my foot down but I will deal with them when/if the time comes.

Well i'm gonna end this for now. I hope everyone has a good rest of the week and weekend!

{Pictured above: Mr. and Mrs. Luke Putnam}
{Ben, Me, Bens Grandparents and his dad}

{Mr. and Mrs. McHugh}

Monday, September 8, 2008

My weekend

This weekend was def something that I needed. Ben came home Friday night! I was so happy to see him and to hold him in my arms again. I needed it soo bad. We had a jam packed weekend. Saturday, after I got off work, we went to the mall and walked around for a bit, grabbed something to eat for lunch, went put put golfing, and then went down to the river and acted like photographers, we then went to the capital and finished taking pics. After that we went on a date to Applebees, our favorite restaurant, well atleast mine anyways! To finish off the night we went to Liz's bday party. We had so much fun together this weekend. We laughed like we did all summer long. It really makes me miss the summer when I was living with him. I pray everyday that time goes by really fast and he comes home safe to me from Afganistan so we can move back to TN and start the family that we always talk about.
Sunday we got up and went to his grandparents house for breakfast! It was yummy! lol Then we came back home and fell asleep. When we woke up Ben had to leave to go back. It was really hard watching him go but I knew there was nothing I could do about it. I cried, of course, but not like last night. I thought that last night and today would be hard like it was when I moved up here but I have kinda gotten used to being away from him again, like we had been for 2 years. Don't get me wrong, I miss him terribly but I am trying to stay strong, not only for me but for him too.
I do want to take a minute and thank all my friends for being so supportive and helpful while I have been home. It is not easy being away from Ben and no one knows what I am going thru but my friends sure do know how to make me laugh and still have a good time. Thank you guys so much for being there for me when I need to talk or not. You guys are amazing!
Below are some pics that we took this weekend. Some are edited with Photoshop!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Being back in Missouri

Being back in MO is not as easy as I was hoping it would be. I do still miss my husband terribly but I have learned to adapt to it. I think it is best that I came back now because otherwise it would be much harder when he deploys. I think about him 24/7 and am not looking forward to Chirstmas time because he will already be gone but I knew this when I married him. I support him 110% and love him more than anything!
So now that I am back I have started working again. I now work at Central Bank West. I used to work at the Motor bank but Ben's cousin made sure that didnt happen. I couldnt get my job back there because of her but I have put that past me now because I like west sooo much more! I really like it there! Everyone is nice and isnt stuck up as the people I used to work with.
I would like to thank all my friends for being there for me as this time is tough with me being away from Ben. I have the best friends! I couldn't ask for better ones! Thank you guys so much!
I am also in my last semester of school, WHOO HOO, and it seems like this is the hardest semester yet. Maybe because its the last im not sure but it kinda blows! haha. I will get thru it though.
All in all everything is going okay back at home! I get to see all my friends more and im surrounded by my loving family and Ben's. I am so thankful! Ben is also coming home October 15-31 on leave. We are getting our first family portaits with Rascal taken on Oct. 26. We can't wait! I will post pics when we get them.

Katy, Erica, and Me: Me and Kelli at the river:
My friend Kristi's lil boy Brett: